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教育头条 > 初中家长 > 如何处理初高中生谈恋爱?美国家长科学处理孩子早恋法则

如何处理初高中生谈恋爱?美国家长科学处理孩子早恋法则

初中家长 10-15 浏览量: 分享:

      孩子早恋问题,是众多家长的烦恼!当发现孩子早恋,家长如何正确引导?不粗暴、不野蛮干预、不一味指责...还能让孩子言听顺从。下面三好网小编特为大家分享:美国家长正确处理孩子早恋法,值得借鉴,赶紧get起来吧!


 
 
  我在美国一个培训班学习时,问美国的同学,如果他们的小孩子作出的选择不符合父母的意愿时,比如发现孩子早恋了怎么办?他们讲出了许多办法,其中一位母亲的那种“放任法”给我留下了深刻的印象。

  有一天,43岁的秀,向全班宣布她的儿子已经和他的女朋友分手时哈哈大笑的神态,让我感到奇怪。教室里的其他人都充满了好奇,不久我就知道了这背后的故事。

  她的儿子是一个正读高中的16岁小伙子,他的21岁的女朋友前天晚上与他断绝了关系。秀从一开始就不喜欢这位女孩子。她竭力反对他们的交往,她认为他们的家庭背景很不相同,而且儿子还不到谈恋爱的年龄。

  “为什么不把他们分开?”我问。

  “怎么可能呢?他对自己的这一做法很任性。对我来说,这是一场注定要失败的斗争。”

  “于是你就让他安心地与她在一起?”

  “是的,但我告诫他这将不会有什么结果。”

  “你是否曾经见过她?”

  “许多次,当他没有足够的钱带她上餐馆时,他就带她来家里吃饭,有时我真想让他们离我远一点,但我从没有这样说过。我不喜欢她和他的交往,他明白这一切。但你知道这种年龄的男孩会怎样,你说得越多,他越听不进去。如果我老是说反对意见,他就越下定决心与这位女孩子形影不离,我只好任其自然,这将使他们的关系结束得快些。”

  “他跟你谈论过她的情况吗?”

  “有时会。我问他们在一起干什么,我告诉他事情会有什么结局。仅仅像一个正规的交谈,没有批评,即使听到他们去过不该去的本地的酒吧,我也不说一声反对。”

  “你没有做过一件试图把他们分开的事?”

  “没有,但你不知道我有多高兴。今天早晨当我听到他们已经分手了,虽然我看到他眼中含着泪水,但我还是几乎要情不自禁地笑出来。当他去上学时,我急不可待地把此事告诉了我的丈夫。我们都从来没有这样开心地笑过。”

  “你儿子不是很伤心吗?”

  “是的,但他经受得住。他现在只是很伤心不能与她再来往了。相信他经受得住这方面的痛苦。”

 
 
 
 
  “在中国,高中生是严禁谈恋爱的。”

  三好网小编顺便解释一下:

  “无论是在哪个国家,孩子在花费较大的精力用于学习时,谈恋爱都不是一种明智之举。因为他们还太小,不懂得爱的真正含意。但这方面的体验别人无法替代产生,也需要他们自己整理一下思绪,自行走出误区。家长不要把这事看得太重,即使心里紧张,也不要表现给孩子。他们仅仅在一起做游戏,也同样在不断地学习。应该有把握的是,当他上大学时,他将懂得他要找的是什么样的人,并且能找到与他较般配的另一半。”

  “你认为这种经历是对未来的准备?”

  “可以这样认为。他能有所比较,最终知道什么是次要的,什么是最重要的,这也同样使他能从容地去面对今后的各种打击。”



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